Monday, April 18, 2011

Your life or Mine?

Tonight I am gonna put down my ego, my pride
I certainly need to face myself for at least one night
To write a post about how exactly I feel
How I want things to be done and so on
Gosh.. I guess it is not easy after all, feeling kinda pressure now XD

I am finally back to the Crason used to be
Someone who prefers to reminisce about past
Trying to understand where went wrong
Wanna learn from the irrecoverable mistake
My mind is just running like a 7-11 convenient shop
It is tiring, it is worthy as in I learn to know more
Who am I? What I want? How I want it to be?

I guess I am just too arrogant
I always wanted to be the successful person
Wanted to be someone who knows it all
Can you imagine I'm turning to be 25 next month
& I still have loads to learn

The first break up case happened to my housemate Travis
Seldom met him though, tonight he talked alot to me
He explained the story flow and I could see his anger about the whole thing
My apology Travis, I'm sorry that you have to go through this
When love comes to the end, it is so damn ugly
All we wanted to do is to forget about it completely & start a new life
Well well, human is human, we all have emotion
It is tough, especially when you are alone in your room
Seeing those past memory playing in your mind
Your bf came over & walking around the room
Helped out with the shirt ironing & kissed you on your cheek
Though I don't know what went wrong
I am pretty sure you will be fine soon
Cheer up k? My new housemate Travis

To my lovely bestie Evon
It was a little uncomfortable when you said
"You have never liked any BF of mine"
I'm sorry darling.. I am just someone having too much opinion I guess
I am sure you understand who am I, I have never meant to hurt anyone with my words
Alright baby, you have ended with him
Someone with a common name Eric & we all laughed about it before
For the Crason that I know, he could have told you
Darling, love is precious, maybe he might not be your type, your taste
But the LOVE, the love that contributed by him means something
It has never been easy to find someone willing to love you with all he has
About personality, it takes time to adjust, don't give up just yet
For the Crason that I know too, he should advise you
Love is natural, need not to be forced, it comes naturally
When you know the feeling is not right, there is nothing much you can do
Why not just go away & move on
You will always find your piece of happiness one day
When? I wish I know dear.. It will, there will be a day
& the best part is.. I will definitely volunteer to be your best man on your wedding :)
Don't ask me why, I always think you deserve more love than anyone else
You are the fallen princess from the heaven
Searching your true love with pain and you are always the strongest girl
& I know you are kinda shy to ask for a sincere care
You can always come to me.. Me & Elroy will be by your side all the time :)

For Elroy.. You are one lucky ass hole in the world!
You know what I mean by ass hole :p
Darling darling, I wonder why you are the most happiest person among us
Not that I am jealous of you, trust me I am not jealous
In fact, I am so happy for you
You don't have to go through whatever Evon & I go through
Your luck, your love, your career always come at the right time
Okie.. I admit I am jealous of you :p
So far, I can see that you are really someone appreciative
My six sense tells me, you will be much more blissful than us :)
When you have reached the top, please do not forget about me & Evon ok? lolx
I am pretty sure Evon would agree this too
WE NEED YOU all the time
It's just sometimes we have to do the thinking ourselves
After all.. Everyone has to be independent, ain't this is true?
Happy for your current life baby! :)

Wayne, Waynie, sister :)
You and I.. were facing the same issue
But you stood up and made all the difference
See? You are more lucky than I do
At least you appreciate someone in the right time
For the long message that I got from him
I could sense, he is serious in this relationship
He has committed with his 120%
And I know.. You will live with only happiness ever after
Would you prefer a half glass of water? Or a full glass of water?
We all have tried the feeling of water level full
Half glass might seem even better, at least it will not spill :)
You have my blessing too sweet heart
I'm glad that we are staying together for more than 2 years now
I promise I will never ever forget about you XD


Back to myself, an honest review
For the past 5 months, I guess I was not myself
I could not understand what kind of bastard I have become
To abuse someone who could be loving me for life
I did not wake up until the day you left
Yeah man, you have done a really good job in loving me
And what you thinking now? About all the mistakes I have made?
Oh man, I ain't not a Saint, I am imperfect too
Why do you wanna make the ending in such a hideous way?
When I was drowning in my own world, I was seriously mind blinded
When I have decided to make the change, you said it is too late
Why is that? What you want? Just to give me a punishment?
Darling, perhaps you don't even know what love means
I am not here to lecture you about what is love
You are just someone passing by, who gave me a real touch & left me with cruelty
When you could say something that hurt me so deep inside
When you could just smile & told me to leave
I know, you are not the one I know anymore
The person that I know was someone who loves me so deep inside
Therefor I quitted being sad, I gotta move on
& what's next? Deleted me from facebook?
Oh man.. I can't believe that I will cry over you
You have never been worth a while
You maybe right at time but you are wrong about something
To live in hatred is the one fucking wrong thing to do in your life
The opposite of love is not hate, is to accept and move on
One confession to make, you will be always missed among us
I will miss the old you.. the one who really loved me before..

Phew, I cannot imagine I have typed that long
I wish whoever I mentioned above would have read this post
I truly treasure the time & the laughter we have spent
Seriously, I should start writing a MY LIFE novel soon
I am with Red Wine again tonight
Waiting for tomorrow Yee Mee with you two my love one :)
The Crason that I know, is more happier after all what happened
Without you all, I might not be able to make it
Love you guys with my sincere heart & soul :)


Tell me how can I live without you guys :)
Love each day, is our promise to each other

Everyone is unique
We all have our own way to love
So.. Please don't say that I've never loved you
I did.. And I do.. In a different way :)


©®

2 comments:

  1. It's just awesome to read this .. bring back a lot of lesson I've learn in life .. best word to describe " Appreciate everything around us, and move along with it .. "

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hai Crason, I've read to the end of this post though its long. I like this post bcos u talk on those important things in human life. Bravo!!

    Love is a game, when u first join, definitely will seems so excited and willing to reveal and explore everything on it, but so, when u quit, you will need to take so much time in order to recover fully from it. :( But the opposite of love is always hate for me, after that only I will try to learn from mistake and move on.... anyway, thank dude...

    ReplyDelete