Thursday, June 23, 2011

Happily Commiting A Serious Crime

Just posted a day like plain water
I met someone who gave me such a thrill after that
I know, I knew this is so wrong
But a part of me seems enjoying it
The other part, which is as slim as 1% stopping me
Beautiful crime, kill me please

Someone explained to me about what is so called dream
He further said "Don't u have a dream too?"
Everyone must have a dream
For all sorts of dream, I wanted to be an actor actually lol :p
Along the way, I was influenced by the "down to earth" ethic
This dream has been put way behind
I don't dream about this anymore
I would rather to be a normal working adult
Yes, a job that pays the rent
Nothing impressive, nothing extra ordinary
I think it's actually a good thing to be an ordinary person :)

According to him, dream is a must
However not much people could actually fulfill it
And a person like me, could never understand why someone wanted to be a star
There can't be anything wrong to a have a dream
What makes it wrong would be the incapable you fail to realize your incapability
Chinese say "fix your head with the appropriate hat size"

I'm actually doing a serious thinking bout the whole thing
Even ask of my mama's opinion
Turns out, I can never understand that kind of mindset
Knowing that we were all born in this earth
Neither me nor you come from Mars
Why is that difficult to reach the mutual understanding stage?
It's similar to a couple who might call for divorce after 20 years
And the simple reason is "I can't understand you, you just don't know what I want!"
Oh well, perhaps.. Either one of us is alien
Perhaps it makes no sense keep wondering why
Why not we choose to leave it as it is
It's just different mindset, we come from a different world
Still dwelling? It's in vain baby

To all the dreamers, may your dream comes true
Dreaming is not enough, you gotta go all your way
With guts, bravery and courages
You want to feel like you are above the sky?
Go all your way!

Me? I'm not a dreamer
I'll stick to my own plan
Earn money, save money
Go for flight, day off, work, day off
Sound pretty boring huh? That's just who I am
Everyone is beautiful in his own way
I'm beautiful, what about you?

My Days Are like Plain Water

My recent days are like plain water
Nothing much to tell, it's just the usual Crason who flies here and there
Either flying or having day off or slumbering on the bed
Kinda contradict to how people who think of me
"You are what a happening person!" <-- Not really.. Trust me!

On my flight from Taipei the other day dated 21st June
I was receiving passengers with my signature commercial smiling face
"Good afternoon, welcome aboard"
"Hi, how you doing"
"May I have your boarding pass please?"
All of a sudden, I was stoned! I saw these group of kids
(They are younger than me)
"Ain't you the Astro Talent Quest star??!"

May I present to you, she is Miko!

And this is Geraldine!
For all the due respect, I really love her name!
And she was the one who scored 28.5 over 30
So far the highest in Astro Talent Quest 2011

This is her performance
Lady Marmalade which gets her 28.5!

The top 5 members
Starting from the left
Licus, 洁莹, Kim, Miko and Geraldine

My sister is her junior!
She stays nearby me though :p

I sorta gave them a lot of Malaysia Airlines souvenirs
Their bags hardly can contain anymore
It was really nice to see them on board

OMG.. This post is so empty :(
Even I myself finds it "Hello bitch, could you please post something else?"
My apology, recently there is nothing interesting enough
Let's just crap here, don't waste a post
Erhm.. I am currently having my day off at parents place
Comfortable as usual, my very hospitable mama cooks the best for me
Knowing that I am trying to slim down, she got me Lotus soup with Vege for whole day
And we gossip and talk about all kind of bullshits and that's my day today
Sound plain boring? But I like it the way it is

I am gonna have a hair cut tomorrow
This picture is for memory lol
Someone commented I have a pointy nipple :p
I don't, my nipple is very small hahha!!
Oh yeah, it seems my two dearies are very busy recently
Is this the price to pay to be an adult? Sigh, I wish we are still a small kid
Sometimes I imagine that they don't like to talk to me anymore
Or maybe they don't like to have any meeting anymore
Darling.. I wish to see you guys, let's talk about all nonsense things all over again
Shall we? :)
No matter how unwilling we are, we still gotta grow up
Grow up? or Grow Older? That's so true
It does not matter, I love you two! And my family members
Good night to you all, with love :)


Monday, June 13, 2011

3 Days Off & I Love it!

After working for 6 days, time to rest up
I had my rare 3 days off last week
Though it was weekdays but it did not kill my mood
Gonna share with you what I've done^^

You could see how crazy was the traffic jam
Don't ever drive in KL during rainy day
I am forever loud bout traffic jam
But that day I was cool and jammed there for 1 hour or more
Normally, I should be exhausted for shouting too much
Perhaps this is one improvement :)

I dated with a young guy aged 19
He is a really cute guy with barbie doll face
He said he has never been to Chilis haha!!
We talked and were trying to get to know each other
Just like a normal date you all have :)

Came home I told my sister bout him
She complained! It seems she doesn't me to spend on guys lol
Ok sis, next time I'll spend more on you
Btw, this guy is cute but I don't think we can be together
I don't mean to be so cool
Sometimes we just can't force ourselves to do something we are not fond about.. Agree? :)

That night, I was in my sister's room
We talked we laughed we screamed
I was thinking.. Yeah man, it has been a long time I did not talk to my sister like this
Hey sis, wanna tell you
You are one cute and good girl in the world, you deserve everything good
Plus you are my sister, I'll ensure you have the best in your life
Love you! :)

The next day I was served by the best mama chef in the world lol
Pan mee, all time favorite
Accompanied by bean curd, pork balls and of course the below too!

Stop your saliva
Just make a reservation and I'll ask my mama to cook for you alright?
It's superb yummy, I promise^^ haha!

That is a price to pay for everything
Just like I love my sister
I have to send her to 1U for a product training
Under HOT sun which could kill me

Whose pair of legs is that?! Lol

She is really a small girl
Begging for ice cream lol
Btw I love this too Green Tea macha ice cream ^^

Dated 9th June 2011
Do anyone actually know 1U old wing is under going renovation?

Sis ah sis
So fast huh? You are now 19 turning to be 20 soon
You are only one who scored all A's in UPSR PMR SPM
Maybe mama picked you up from a trash bin or else how to explain you are much more clever than me? Lol
Perhaps sometimes I'm too harsh on you but I want you to know this
I'm so proud of you and I'm so glad you are my sister
Imagine she could say something inspiring to me sometimes =="
Never underestimate someone younger than you lol

At night, met up with Triple E
Evon Elroy Eric
Everyone is busy and we hardly have the time to sit and talk bout things
I thought I'm the busiest among all lol but I'm so wrong
Elroy could sleep only 3 hours each day
Evon keeps going on shooting trip, different state
Eric, not so sure but he said he is busy with his homework too (maybe bluffing? Lol)
N I usually have day off on weekdays
That's bad! :(
Dear ah dear I miss you guys
Wish to meet up more often
Can grant me this wish or not ^^
Whatever you guys are doing right now
I wish you luck and happy always
With love, muackz! :)

Last day of my day off
Re visited CintaRia at Damansara Jaya
To check out the pretty pregnant lady Nichole

She keeps nagging
"I'm so fat, see my hands my body my everything..!!"
Haha.. A pregnant stewardess is like an ordinary lady too
Gain 25kg lol while the baby inside is just 2kg++ lol

Her due date is next month
She shared her fear thoughts and all worries with us
Silly dear, you are gonna be so fine
The baby girl will be seeing the world soon
A cute healthy pretty little baby girl
Nichole, take care of your body! Don't jump here and there like you always do alright! :)
It's sweet to feel the world is full of hope and happiness ^^

Time to do a little review!

Talked with someone over the phone lat night for almost 2 hours long
It's weird that right after the duration hits 1 and a half hour, the line will go dead
That's how our telecommunication service provider do to us lol
Anyway the main point of this fella
He commented I am actually a lonely person lol.. Though I look like having fun in all the pictures I have
Erhm.. What to say? I think we were all born from mama's pussy as one soul
And we live our life with our very own soul too
My job is a little different, I don't sit in office facing walls all day
I'm having fun during my work and urig day off, I think deserve some moments for myself right?
Wake up late in the morning
Enjoying mama's cooking for brunch
Stick to my MacBook and iPhone
Back to munching mama's special made light meal
Doze off a little, afternoon nap
Wake up another big meal waiting for me
Never let go iPhone still
Erhm.. That's one good day for me
Able to see my family members, talk every nonsense things, gossip about everything
I don't think I am lonely seriously

Maybe it's good to have someone beside me
But it is not that bad that I don't have
Trust me, I would like to have someone
It's just I'm not sure CAN I have someone or not
If I could find someone who could make my heart pounds like a drum
I'm sure I'll go all my way to win his heart
Since I don't seem to see someone like this around me
I'm just taking my own sweet time to do something that I really wanted right now
For example, earn money, save money
When the time is right, I am more capable to bring more happiness to that Mr. Right :)

Man.. Are you a working adult now?
I'm sure after a whole day or whole week hard work
You need a good rest, you might even chase your bf away ask him to give you a half day to rest before you could spend time with him
Maybe we all don't have the free time like last time
To text someone and to do all the "miss you" thingy but what matters is how we treasure the relationship
What I'm trying to say is.. Perhaps sometimes someone said something, we might take it wrongly and misinterpret the real meaning of it
Elroy reminded me if I ever couple again I must be able to accept his flaws and not to exaggerate too much lol

Phew what a long review I did
I want to be a better man!
Yawn, time for a short nap
Will blog again soon, till then..
Ciaoz peeps, enjoy the Monday blue! :)

Monday, June 6, 2011

What KInd of Asshole I have Become?

OMG.. I went through my previous blog
And I found that I was not like this before
The Crason who used to be.. had a really great heart for everything in life
But the Crason has changed so much without his notice either
Why is this happening to me? Where the hell is real Crason?
Could it be the current Crason is actually the Crason?
Or the old Crason is the Crason?
Maybe.. It's just time has changed the old Crason to the new Crason?
Or maybe I have just lost my way in between?
Oh man.. It feels so lost.. What is happening to me?

I am trying so hard to recall who was Crason
I bet I was having faith in love that someone would appear to rescue me
Along the way, I picked up a few bad habits and I started to toss the faith away
:( But I couldn't remember how I did it and what made me stop believing anymore
I used to go to for flight and come back to spend my time with my beloveds
When something happened, I used to note it down, at least ping to my very small brain
Came back and story morry my beloveds
Unfortunately, I don't see myself doing this anymore..
For the last meeting with Elroy and Evon
I was completely out of mind, nothing funny to share about
And I feel so shame of myself.. I always wanted to bring my beloveds only the happiness
Look what have I become?

Ever since I have become a mandarin crew
Roster seems better and I don't have to change duties with others like a mad ass
Steadily bring home with that amount of money and I am really happy for it
I don't need to stop and stare at my cell phone, waiting for crew to text me
Ask me if I am interested with their airbus flight, not anymore
When things get too easy, one self tends to be carried away
I guess I am in this case.. Everything seems too smooth recently for the past few months
And I.. Just don't give a damn to anyone and I have become such an ass hole

Oh.. I better note this down before I forgot
I sorta betrayed Wayne, my only lovely housemate left
Ask me why did I do that pls? To be honest, I don't know
I mean, what am I suppose to say here? I am the one to be blamed, I know
But I really don't know why did I do it.. I don't know..
I could have hided all these but I should thank the only pure heart of me
Tells me that I should tell Wayne about what happened back then
Thus, story has been told and he is helplessly upset, I know..
I could not just apologise and treat things like they have never happened
I somehow could feel Wayne is like 37K feet away from me now
He is not as sweet as last time, not as sticky as previously
And I am just.. Upset but could not repair his broken heart
I am sorry.. once again.. I did not mean to hurt you Wayne..
I did the most unforgivable mistake and I don wish you would give up the friendship that we have
Refer to my title, what kind of asshole I have become.. Exactly :(

Been working for this airlines for 2 years and 7 months plus
The longest job I have ever worked for, it definitely provides something I want
All kind of practices that I have learned, all kind of the so called courtesy
It helps me to be a better person and at the same time, destroying me too
Like I said, I read through my previous blog
I sorta remember I always ignore everyone
Perhaps there was no one impressive enough or I was not interested in anyone of them
But now.. I seem to entertain everyone, even chat nonsense with everyone
This is so out of my league, I was not like that! For god sake..
Since you have been working for coming to 3 years, you are considered no longer a super junior
And I am still receiving compliments from seniors and supervisory crews about my job
This kinda helps with my confidence level
It is good to feel good about yourself but I am over the rainbow right now
I have become an ego ass, hypocrite and someone with fake personality
It feels so bad.. That I have changed so much, to be someone that I have never wished to be

Can I want the Crason I used to be, back into this soulless body?
Someone went to work and came back to home
Someone who ignores everyone and lives a life himself
Someone who comes back from flight, walks all the way to transport area
And his cell phone will never ring at all
The last lonely moment that I can remember
Which was back then many months ago, I walked to transport area
Sat down and smoked, I noticed all of them, YES I mean all of the others crew
They were texting and or calling their bf
I did not have any single lonely feeling not until that moment
I was feeling.. all the loneliness and I thought I should have someone in my life too
After that I was granted a chance to be with someone
However, he was definitely not the right one and I was failed once again to be in love
It took me bout 2 months to let go and now that I am back to myself
But this so called myself is not the Crason used to be, time has mend me to someone else
I am now not afraid to be lonely
In fact, more flies seem to linger around me and I am so carried away by all the attention given
Honestly, I would rather be a lone ranger but not someone like this
Who has no faith in love, no faith in anyone
Ever known the meaning of living zombie without a soul?
I guess this is how I feel right now

I was having white wine in my hand just now
Dozed off half way, went to bed for 3 hours
Woke up, I have no single clue what to continue lol..
The emo feeling is gone haha! OMG.. what a freak!!
Anyway, what am I trying to tell is.. I have lost the only innocence that I had
For this past 2 years, I have done loads of damage to a lot of ppl
The only innocence that left inside of me, had gone with wind a long time ago
There are so many things I wish I have not done, they are just too evil
My apology to those victims.. I wish I didn't do anything like that
I am not sure whether I can still go back to the Crason used to be
But I will try.. Patching back the puzzle pieces by pieces..
And I hope.. I could find out what went wrong and caused me to be like this

Till then, we will talk again..
There is nothing wrong to be emo but you must know when to stop
And you must know what to do next
I am not young anymore, I think I know what to do
It's just a process of growing up, it can't be just me experiencing this kind of feeling
What about you there?
Do you feel the same like I do that you have gone too far away from your very own self?

I run and I fall
Cause injures to my knee but I am not afraid
The scratching wound will be healed and I can run again
I love and I am hurt
Devote the best of me, what comes back is a broken heart
And I am so afraid.. that I can't love again
How I wish I am still a kid..


Saturday, June 4, 2011

Same Old Thing, Same Old Me

It's about my birthday celebration last month again :p
It was 4th of May, happened exactly 1 month before
It feels so weird.. Looking at these pic, it seems it was long ago

See? I think I was slimmer than right now
For I was only 5X and now increased at least 4kg! OMG
I remember I changed and changed, tried every outfit
This was the result and I hope I did not look too ugly for my very own birthday

Evon did some researches
She recommended me to go for this - The Hill
Situated somewhere around TTDI

It is a restaurant and bistro
Looking classy for sure and I was already fear about the bill they might pay

I actually took kinda bunch of pics there
However, my lousy camera did not perform very well
Could only choose a pic or two to post it here

Evon's super light meal, Salmon Salad

Elroy was frustrated cuz he ordered this
Some kind of pineapple cocktail but it tastes like cough syrup lol

I suppose to look good here but the over shine flashing ruins it!
Lol.. no choice and I have to edit it in such a way
Hoegaarden~ Loving it^^
And my favourite - Salmon Steak
The portion was so small.. While the plate was ass that big
Can someone please tell me what is going on with my face?
It looks so fake and weird in shape!

There were also Deep Fried Oyster and Tempura for my big stomach
I ate and ate.. Never stopped, once a year, should be okie right? lol

The bill was about.. 350rm? I think so
Fuck man.. expensive maximum and I was feeling so guilty
The best part was.. I was not even full :p

Reached my place, 2nd round to this Curry Noodle house nearby my place

This time I paid lol.. Only bout 10rm lol
Yummy yummy and finally we could call it a night :)
Wait a min! I have words for you two baby!

Dear Elroy and Evon my lovely dear
See, I am the eldest among we three
Sometimes I wish I were born younger than you two :P
Cuz I want you to feel how it is like to be the eldest in a group
Although I look kinda young hahha! But anyway, I'm 25yo officially
The dinner you two spent, it was lovely, really lovely
I want you to know I feel bad bout it cuz I have never spent like that on you two
Remember right after my birthday, I left to Hong Kong for flight?
That time I already planned to buy something for both of you cuz I have few hundred HKD
Who knows, in the end I bought my own stuff for my birthday
I am sorry, so sorry!! :(
Coming days, it seems no special occasion, no one's birthday not until September
Unless you want me to worship you two as my father
Father's day is coming lol.... :P

You two see how I fall.. How I come back alive again
And fall again, dead once more, resurrect to live repeatedly
I am sure this kind of friendship means something to three of us
I define you two as my loyal listeners as if I am the hardrock DJ
I call you two my dear as I borrow your hug and shoulder to cry on
I name myself as a blissful folk to have you two be proud of me just like how I feel for you two
I wanna ring your phone one day and say "Hey, how you doing my soulmates"
And I.. right now staring at the these pic, telling myself how lucky I am
And I.. could not wait to come home and kiss you two on your foreheads (disgusting :P)
And I.. will always treasure you two, I promise :)
Thank you for the lovely dinner my dear
With Love, muackz! xoxo

And so.. the most difficult part of going through process has come to an end
I am again the Crason who cooks instant noodle at home
Though I might miss the KFC, the Yong Tofu, the Mimi snack.. the companionship
I think I still prefer to live my life in such a way, in Crason's way to be exact
Oh yes Evon, we are not so lucky like Elroy right? He always has someone to love lol
Hey Evon, I am okay to be single for now, in fact I am always okay to be like this
Are you doing okay there? I think you would love to be single but not too long okay?
I wanna see you getting married, I wanna be your best man
And I wanna see you giving birth to cute baby^^
And fulfill your dream, bringing kids to my house and visit me haha!
"Ah boy, be careful of uncle Crason ya, he is dangerous" <-- U imagine tis before!!! lol

Someone enlightened my day today by saying this
"I am looking for a matching personally
That we are naturally click and do not need to do/change so much"
Wow.. this fella is certainly more expressive than I do
I am looking for this kind of person too
But please don't appear first ok? I like it to be single right now :)
Cheers~ Will blog again~