Thursday, August 18, 2011

Crossing An Unknown Street

Just got back from 6 days work
Been to Shanghai, Guangzhou, K.Kinabalu & Hong Kong
Pls, spare me a life
Don't tell me "Wow! Ur life is fun!"
It's just a job and I'm getting more & more bored of it
If it is not because of the money, I could have quit a long time ago

Tell me what went wrong pls?
I supposed to be someone blissfully living in this world
Holding my iPhone white & keep texting someone started with "D"
It's just like a sudden lightning strikes on me
A second of finger snaps "SNAPzzz", everything has changed!
I couldn't live with this, but what choice do I have?

Oh well certainly life is about choices you make
You can be obedient, loyal, a bitch, a whore, a slut, a drama queen
It's all up to you, what is your preference?
When I ask "Would you like to have Chicken or Fish?"
Don't even try to ask me "Beef?"
You won't want a slap on your face isn't it?

Thus, I has chosen to be single
I fled the scene which might turn out to be a heavenly paradise
And it takes only a few days, to think and to re-consider
Of course I did ask myself "What do you really want?" I certainly did
If you don't like cheese cake, you of course can reject the offer without a second thought
But if you don't like to work, can you? Sometimes you might just force yourself to work
Talking bout L.O.V.E, that's another tricky and yet difficult question
Can anyone here live without love? I suppose there might be
But me? This never-get-lonely person, seems pretty hard these days
I want to be loved, I want to be cared, I want to be hugged
But are you the one who is right for me? That.. I couldn't answer..
Ask me, pls ask me, do I wish to get married with you?
A part of me YES! A part of me.. Erhm.. maybe ask me another time?
Can't you see? My heart doesn't seem want to commit a relationship right now
I have only a word or two for you.. My apology, pls forgive me..


If I say, I wanna play more, can you find me some other time?
If I confess, I kinda like you but not to the extend that I would die for you, how?
If I say, you are so sweet and lovely and yet not up to my ideal type of guy?
If I confess, it's not that I don't want you, it's just I'm not ready, pls let me go?
If I ask, will you wait for me?
If I question you, why would you turn me off sometimes, am I rude?
If I were to be frank, we should have never met each other
Ain't I am the asshole now?
Yeah.. I am the asshole, I did shitty things and I am hideous
I am sad, I want to cry, where can I find a shoulder? Or maybe a tissue pls?

Oh come on, how old are you right now? 25yo?
Why am I acting like I am 15yo? Still emo about stuff like this?
Actually, deep down I do know and I know it very well
It's just.. about the compatibility of two different characters
For instant, a Taurus matches with A Virgo but goes against A Sagittarius?
Or maybe a famous chinese proverb, Mars hits Earth, Oil VS Water?
Simple as that, I guess so? Erhm.. I am just being too rational right now
Not exactly though, it's about chemistry too, the fire sparks
Some sparks last a few seconds, some last a few years, some lasts a century too
And my sparks with you? Last that long, only we both know very well
Hey baby, I am sorry ok?
I don't mean to do anything, say anything to hurt you
It's just.. I did it and it's too late for me to even hold you back with my arms
So I guess.. I shall really let you go, walk thru this unknown street without me
Can't you see the bright star ahead? You would be good
I don't see my bright star yet, I will still walk alone, there will be one ahead
I am sure! :)

See? It has never been easy to be dumped or to dump someone
This time, it kinda recalls how helpless I used to feel
And yet, I need to adapt to a single life, again? That's totally hard to imagine
I have an answer for myself
Oh sweetheart, you will be just fine, to be a single lad is nothing bad at all
We always get this when we broke up, isn't it?

For an unknown reason, I have been eating like a hungry pig
I thought I only eat a lot when I am happy
And now, I don't even know how to describe my own feeling
And I eat and eat, never let go any single dish, any single snack
What's going on? For I have gained about 4kg, time to do something huh?
Not to diet, is to neutralize my inner feeling
That includes sadness, fear, anxiousness, anger, hatred and a lot more
Tell you something, I have been working like a slumber slug lately
No sense of urgency, no smiling face, no cheerful facial expression
And Crason is gonna declare, he is officially emotionally break down
I have about 2 days and a half to cure myself
Time does wonder huh? I hope so, pls, I need a rejuvenating potion right now!

"Hey baby, how are you doing?"
I can't even text that person this way, and this is so sad
I wish you.. A really happy life without me, a really good future without me
Don't say that you need time, because I am sad to walk away too
And.. I need time too :(
"Hey baby, I miss you here"
I can't text you this either.. and that's so sad..



"Hey baby.. you are gonna be alright, and we just have to move on.."



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3 comments:

  1. Crason, What you are feeling is perfectly fine. Humans are born to suffer and what you are feeling right now is hunger. Hunger not in a sense of food but feeling, belonging, need and love.

    Try to find something else to do to distract yourself from this hunger...

    Cheers and keep smiling.

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