Friday, August 31, 2012

I miss you....

I'm staying up late alone, surfing internet, browsing Facebook
And I saw Wayne, my ex-housemate, posted a link to his blog
Let me count, he left me to Singapore Airlines on 14th December 2011
It's been a while, at least for 8 months plus now

That actually recalled my memories
I did cry to the max, for approximately 2 months plus
And slowly, I began to feel okay, of course, with the help of my lovely BF
And......... I slowly forgot about how it felt when he left me
I'm not sure is this normal? Or am I just a cold blooded ass hole?
The 4th month, I purposely applied annual leave just to witness his graduation from SIA
I again cried, and also, I again sooner later forgot how it felt

Wait a minute, trust me please
He means a lot to me, a lot a lot, for a housemate who I mingle around for 3 years at least

When I was sad, I kinda told myself
He would be earning big cash as in SGD, a lot more than I'm earning

He will be damn fine as he would eye-candy those gym fit Singaporean
He is definitely gonna be okay, at least, he will, in time

Well, I guess, I have confidence in him that he will be better
And therefor, I have less worries, I mean, not much worries anymore
Isn't he a big boy? Hello, he is elder than me, I'm sure he will be just fine

And so.. Less contact, less whatsapp, it's almost like you have your life and I have mine
Once in a blue moon, we chatted a while
Mostly about.... how's thing? I miss you! Oh, I'm busy, Okay, you take care ya
Predictable, isn't it?

Tonight, I sorta re-read his blog again
The feeling is so overwhelming, his blog calls back too many memories
His words are sharp and rings me a wake up call
I wanna say this to you, my dear friend
I Miss YOU...................

Do you read mandarin? If you do
Please go to his blog, some serious shit there
You may find his blog link in HERE
The very specific blog post that I cry over again & again is HERE

Wayne ah Wayne,
I know I can never sound like Ivy "Wayne Wayne"
But when I scream your name, I am seriously calling you
I, for once, cried alone in my new house
I was thinking I should have never bought a new house
Bcuz this new house kinda separated us away
I would rather stay in A28, thinking about you
Imagining you are still there
And I know, I know, definitely....... I will cry again
Too much to tell, too many stories that needed to catch up
But, I'm a Taurus, I'm damn damn damn realistic, I know
I can emo for tonight but it won't change the fact that you have left
It's quite impossible to catch up like old times
We all need to move on, but we can always take a step back & cry for thinking of the past
It's okay..... see? I cried again tonight

I like it when you say.....
說 會遺忘﹐寫只會淡忘~很多時候我們做過的事情會忘記,所以偶爾將記得的事情記載下來,以后可以重溫。他們說不要回頭,其實也不然,回頭看沒有什么不好,可 以看見自己的進步,有時看到自己以前的傻模樣,自己的憤怒,自己的好打不平,自己的傷心等等~全部都是自己的,自己說自己看,別人也可以看,別人不看也不 打緊,我智己看,智己明白就好。

I miss you Wayne
Miss every single bit of you
You take care there, if you need anything, just give me a buzz
Oh ya! I forgot to tell you
Even we are far apart, It's just me giving the 100% freedom to you
And so what even you are a little elder than me
To me, you are my little brother, I'll always be there for you
And willingly take care of you, whenever I have the chance
I miss you dearly



Thursday, August 23, 2012

Be Positive

It's enough already
I don't fucking think I can take it anymore
Too much of whining, I don't wanna burden anyone anymore
Especially my BF who has been listening to me the whole time
I wanna blog it out, post it here to tell how I feel

Next month September I'm about to fly with 2 ass holes
When I saw their name, I was totally blank
In my heart, I just wanna get rid of them, wanted to change my flight
Through rains and storms, I finally found 2 colleagues to help out
Last week 19th, first day of Raya, I went to office after flight
Seeking help from a Duty Exec
However, it was not done due to some reasons
The next day, 20th I left for a 4 days trip
Going for Labuan 1 night, KK 2 nights
Tonight, 23rd I'm back! Went to office again.....
The DE was helpful but he has no authority to change my flight
He advised me to just leave the mutual swap forms here
He would TRY to ask his colleagues to help the next day

I don't really know how to express this feeling
I just couldn't help to feel upset
I have not been sleeping well
Even kept dreaming about these mutual swap thingy
Hoping it to be done asap
Even prayed and lighted up sticks to Guan Ying
Begging for blessings
Even talked to some close colleagues
Releasing my emotions
However, it seems I still am stubborn, couldn't get rid of all these nonsense
And I......... Just feel like crying, it's too stressful for me
OMG......... What's going on with me

I'll remember what you said, to be positive
I'll remember that I have to be strong
I'll remember that I have to face them one day even I could avoid seeing them this time
I'll remember what does not kill me, make me stronger
I'll promise to be tougher, stronger
Even if i could not, I'll just cry
And tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the following days
I'll still fight all my way

For now
I just have to be positive
I'll know the result tomorrow
People, please pray for me
Pray the unhappy Crason will be smiling again
And I thank you for this
Thank you....

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Papa, Mama, Happy Birthday!

It was on 22nd July 2012

We were there in Marco Polo Restaurant at Jalan Raja Chulan

Buffet Dim Sum, yummmmmmsssss

Here to celebrate my beloved mama's 47th birthday

Someone who gave birth to me when she was only 21 years old

Nothing much to showcase

It was just a eat eat eat & bite bite bite session

To see her picking her favourite dishes and chew on them

It's just damn satisfying, yeah, she loves buffet!

Happy birthday mama! And I love you ^^

Don't mind about the bill, I'll do anything to make you happy

The other night 3rd of August 2012

My papa's 50th birthday

Cannot believe it, he has reached his 50th

Again Chinese cuisine, parents simply love oriental meals 

The tiramisu cake from my sister, super small but costly

FYI, we don't really taste cake actually

This time, both meals cost me nearly RM500

It didn't hurt at all, for I just want to see them happy

I actually enjoyed hearing them said "Best...! So full now"

Hehe.. you guys can really eat huh?? XD

Papa, happy birthday to you too! And I love you too

I hope you love the dinner :)

Right after the dinner, the very next day..........

Sister got into a fight with my mama, which was seriously dramatic

I listened the while conversation, I'm sorry but to say

Sis.. Why would you use such a harsh word, what's wrong with you?

The incident is mainly bcuz of her so called... Lovely BF, Ray

Ray? He sucks, I never like him, and I bet no one in this house like him

I don't understand, how could you fall in love with someone like that

We all are not 3 years old and perhaps love is blind but your eyes seem bigger than mine, sis

That arguments actually did recall some of my ugliest moments in my past

I did that too, fought over an useless BF, could be even more dramatic

What I got was only tears falling, heart tearing apart too

It seems.. almost 99% positive that

The man that you fight for, when your whole family is against him

Is never the man that deserves your effort

I have experienced it, I know how it feels but I guess my sis is just repeating the same stupid mistake

Sis, you know my style, as soon as I know you do something wrong

I'll kick your ass and scold you with hell lot of disgusting words

But this time, I'm speechless, quite

I truly understand oneself needed to go through by him/herself

Then only he/she would realize how stupid it is to be a moroon

I do not exactly blame you for your overwhelming love over your stupid BF

But please....Please take care of yourself..

You can get hurt, but please wake up one day and realize your stupid mistake

It takes time, it does, that's why.. I'm giving you time now

Year 2012
A drastic change of everything
Every single bit of it strengthen my love to all of you
Let's hold hands together & face the world with smile
Papa mama I love you
Sister, I just want you to be happy
Brother, I hope your new job could earn more & more

With love