Thursday, September 20, 2012





I'm telling myself it's just the 5th days
It's normal to feel anxious, frightening, and totally unsure about future
It's JUST the 5th days
When time passing by, I'll have my the 50th days, 500th days and many more

There are many things I'm regret that I've done it
And there are too, many things I'm regret that I haven't do it
What can I possibly do? To tell those important person in my life
That I truly love you all, and please stay strong with me

Aaaaahhh.. I kept typing it and erasing it
Too many things going through my mind now that I couldn't stay focus
Is this gonna be my forever morning?
Waking up in blue and keep thinking what to do?
I wish I know what I could do better

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

What Else....?

I have been going through rough time
Mainly because my earning power has gone down
And it's not my problem
It's just company not doing well, nothing much that he can offer
What to do?

I complain, I do, a lot a lot
But it just won't help a bit
I'm watching my pay getting lower
Every month! Every.... Month of year 2012
I begin to think, is this job, really my interest?
I bet not.. The original plan of joining this airlines is to earn money
Now that the money becomes shitty
Hardly I could psycho myself to commit anymore

It's fun sometimes, to meet artist in flight
It's fun to stay overseas
It's fun to even stay in hotel
It's fun too, to work with some crazy colleagues
But all these fun, it seems quite meaningless when you don't even enjoy a bit of it
It's been a long time, I do not feel the excitement
It's almost, day in day out the same shit
Too boring for me, and I somehow think I'm just fooling myself

This is so dangerous
I'm not cheerful at all to go for a flight
I'm not balanced, I'm having too much of grudge
I'm easily annoyed by a tiny little thing
And most of all, I guess I'm not even interested to drama anymore
I ain't professional, at least I used to be
But, I'm not now

It's time to do something else
Rather than just flying
Sadly I have only one diploma in LCCI, which is so damn low class
How I wish I could go back and slap myself a big time
Go back to study!! You bitch!!!
It's so important to acquire at least a degree paper
And I might end up facing a group of colleagues, same faces
We all work under the same roof, facing only computers and walls
Erhm.. I wonder will I be happier with this kind of life though

Perhaps human is always greedy
I'm just a normal human being too
Tell me how you feel
When you see your pay compared to last year
Up to date now, you earn less, around 10k
10k okay!! Up to date is September
How would you feel?!!
Every day you are doing the same thing, no punishment no nothing
But the only person who punishes you, is your lovely company
Cut here and there, find ways to minimize your entitled benefits
Tell me how would I not go crazy?
The best part is.. What about the coming OCT NOV & DEC?

I'm so sorry, my apology
Due to being demoralized a big time
I have kinda decided to not go extra mile
Going beyond expectation? You are joking
I'll only work, based on what I'm paid
At the mean time, I'm gonna try this new thing
It's a game, risky, quite
Don't feel like telling yet but I'll give it a try
If I do succeed doing it, I'll most probably encourage you to do it too

So this month, again, sucks
I'll live with it, but, I won't let myself down again
I'll give myself a week or two to learn how to play the new game
And do it, just do it, like Nike (lame)
Fingers crossed, I hope I can manage it

I feel sorry for myself
Being down for quite a while
And feel sorry to my beloved too
He has been eye-ing my bloody moody faces for a long time
Thank you for standing by me
I promise I'll make my life interesting again
I love you
Happy 1st year anniversary ;)

When things go wrong, you fall
Falling... Falling... Falling into the sea
When you hit the bottom of the sea
You will rise, slowly rise and shine
Things will always turn around :)

p/s: unless you fall into a bottomless sea (super lame......!!) hehe